soooo mubi texted and asked ''kidhar hooo?'' and i told him i was in the room playing pokemon cards. it rained heavily yesterday. flood flood floood. it was flooding infront of kaed. all cars had to make a U-Turn and use the other way. so yesterday it was 2 ways. moved from room, went to the library, and parked near iqra'. thought i wouldn't get wet if i park infront there but, sigh. i had to take the KIRK way to library sebab hujan lebat sangat sangat yang teramaaaaaaaaaaat. so berjalan la sayaa ke library. then it was bloody cold in there. kamran texted more than 5 times asking ''are you coming soniyoo'' ah. such a  s w e e t h e a r t then saw mubi. he wore formal. what the hell? he looked so old with the formal baju and his daadi, ya allah. shave laaaaa. anyways, then saw MAMOON teheee. then sat with him and taught him a bit of bahasa. just a bit. he knew better than me. then boytoth came. cheh. boytoth. haha. then bla bla bla. went to rawshah and ate there. so everything was smooth and fun but towards the end *jeng jeng jeng* i was talking about emira getting married to fawwaz. all of a sudden, something came across mamoon's mind. something very serious. so he told mubi first. then he told me. ah. god knows what i felt that time. ya allah. words can't explain at all. not at all. it's like, i don't know! its like a building fell on you! noo. worse than that. cant explain. but yeah. then mood went off. was thinking about what mamoon said. it bothered me so much. tried really hard not to show what i felt. but couldn't hide it. i suck at covering my emotions. theeeeeeen, sampai rumah straight away online. and read on this thing below and i was crying like hell. omg couldn't stop crying at all. it was really bad. last night was reaally reaally baaaaaaaad. this is what i read last night. read!

"What is Cystic Fibrosis?

Cystic Fibrosis affects over 8,000 people in the UK.

Over two million people in the UK carry the faulty gene that causes Cystic Fibrosis - around 1 in 25 of the population.

If two carriers have a child, the baby has a 1 in 4 chance of having Cystic Fibrosis.

Cystic Fibrosis affects the internal organs, especially the lungs and digestive system, by clogging them with thick sticky mucus. This makes it hard to breathe and digest food.

Each week, five babies are born with Cystic Fibrosis.

Each week, three young lives are lost to Cystic Fibrosis.

Around half of the CF population can expect to live over 35 years, although improvements in treatments mean a baby born today could expect to live even longer.

Cystic Fibrosis is caused by a single faulty gene that controls the movement of salt in the body.

In people with Cystic Fibrosis, the internal organs become clogged with thick, sticky mucus resulting in infections and inflammation making it hard to breathe and digest food.

For a baby to be born with Cystic Fibrosis, both parents must be carriers of the faulty CF gene. A baby born to two carriers has a one in four chance of having Cystic Fibrosis.

The diagram shows how CF is inherited. Where both parents carry the faulty gene, each child has a one in four chance of having CF, a two in four chance of being a carrier and a one in four chance of not having any CF genes.

Cystic Fibrosis causes the body to produce thick secretions that particularly affect the lungs and digestive tract.

Symptoms of CF can include a troublesome cough, repeated chest infections, prolonged diarrhoea and poor weight gain. These symptoms are not unique to Cystic Fibrosis.

Cystic Fibrosis affects a number of organs.

Lungs

It is common for people with CF to encounter some difficulties with their lungs. A combination of physiotherapy and medication can help control lung infections and prevent lung damage. To avoid the risk of cross-infection, it is recommended that people with CF do not come into close contact with others with Cystic Fibrosis.

Digestive system

Cystic Fibrosis affects the pancreas, which makes it difficult for people with CF to digest food. This can cause malnutrition, which can lead to poor growth, physical weakness and delayed puberty. There is medication that can compensate for the failure of the pancreas.

In older patients, insulin production can become deficient due to increasing pancreatic disease. Some develop CF related diabetes mellitus and their blood sugar levels are no longer controlled. This rarely happens to children with Cystic Fibrosis.

Common symptoms of diabetes include thirst, hunger, weight loss and excessive need to urinate, but some people do not show obvious symptoms of diabetes.

Other Affected Organs

In every ten babies born with CF, one is ill in the first few days of life with a bowel obstruction called meconium ileus. In these cases, the meconium (a thick black material present in the bowels of all newborn babies) is so thick that it blocks the bowel instead of passing through. Babies with meconium ileus often need an urgent operation to relieve and bypass the blockage.

People with CF are prone to developing bone disease (thin, brittle bones) due to the nutritional and other problems involved with the disease. Adults with CF are at an increased risk of bone disease because of the adverse effects of steroids taken to control lung disease.

Although Cystic Fibrosis does not cause sexual impotency, it can lead to fertility problems. In most men with CF, the tubes that carry sperm are blocked, which causes infertility. Because underweight women are more likely to have irregular menstrual cycles, the nutritional problems associated with CF may affect fertility. Women with CF do produce healthy, fertile eggs so effective contraception is necessary.

Cystic Fibrosis can cause the blockage of small ducts in the liver. This only happens to approximately 8% of people who have CF, but it is a serious health risk and may necessitate a liver transplant

Cystic Fibrosis is a multi-system disease. The Cystic Fibrosis Trust recommends the best care for people with CF is at a specialist CF centre by the multidisciplinary team of doctors, nurses and allied health professionals.

The different ways Cystic Fibrosis is treated can be found in the following sections:

Physiotherapy - to help clear the lungs of mucus, which attracts infection

Exercise - beneficial as a form of physiotherapy and for general health

Medication - the different inhaled and intravenous drugs taken to clear mucus and fight infections

Nutrition - enzyme tablets to help digest food and dietetic information

Other aspects of CF such as transplants, CF related diabetes, and fertility.

The Cystic Fibrosis Trust funds research to find an effective treatment for CF through gene therapy and we believe that this is going to be the nearest thing to a cure in the forseeable future.

Other research is aimed at a pharmacalogical (or drug based) approach to treating Cystic Fibrosis and we invest in projects aimed at alleviating the symptoms of Cystic Fibrosis.

Through research, better understanding and treatment of Cystic Fibrosis, life expectancy is increasing. When the CF Trust was founded in 1964, a child was lucky to live over five years. Around half of those with CF today can expect to live over 35 years - not good enough, but getting better."

taken from the website http://www.cftrust.org.uk/

yeah so basically, i read this and couldn't stop crying and was thinking about mamoon the whole night. couldn't even sleep. sigh. oh mamoon, i really love you. you are suffering from it, but you are so strong. you are living with CF but look at you, really strong. but look at me, i know that you are living with it, but i am not as strong as you are. i feel sad. i cry everytime i think about it. i am really proud of you Qazi Mamoon. Very very proud of you, frankly speaking.

and I LOVE YOU.

putrajaya